So.... I am pregnant! 15 weeks today. I am so excited to have such a miracle growing inside me :)
BUT......
I'm also scared. I keep thinking about things in my life that are going to need to change. I just dont know how to make that happen.
I have been taking care of my house and husband for a long time. There are times it just exhausts me. I feel like I am already so overwhelmed. I'm scared.
I love my husband and I am sure he will be a great father but there are a few things I am just so nervous about. First, my husband was spoiled as a child and I have been able to break through some of it, but not all of it. He will do anything he can to get what he wants when he wants it. The best part is that if he doesn't get the new toy, gadget, game, or other object he currently has his heart set on the second he wants it I have to deal with an asshole until he gets it. Then, I have a panic attack because he gets so mean.
Second, My husband thinks he can save every animal in the world. Dont get me wrong I love animals but right now we feed 5 dogs, 3 cats, and 2 chickens. I cant keep up with the fur and have given up ( im not gonna lie about it) I have to keep track of everything, have the animals been fed, do the dogs need to go out, has the litter box been changed, ect. on top of did hubby take his meds? And everyday I am asked to find something because things dont jump out at you when you only look at the surface.
Third, My husband plays video games. LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS of video games. He actually played a game for 4 hours straight yesterday and gave me an attitude when I asked him if i could watch tv. He didnt even pause it to help me with my nephew while i was trying to make dinner last night till i said something.
I am wondering how I am going to be able to take care of everything and a baby and Im scared.
I havent talked to him about these things because he has PTSD and I dont want to fight with him. He gets very defensive and mean. I just feel like Im fucked...... :(
